Men, this one is for you!

A faithful, strong marriage is one of the greatest gifts you can give your children. Your children witness toxic, dishonoring marriage relationships daily. The last thing they need at home is the burden and stress of wondering if mom and dad are going to make it. Brothers, we are called to treat our wives in such a way that shows the whole world that we are totally committed to the vows we made years ago before God and man. Your children should know, even without you telling them, that your dedication and love for their mommy is greater than anything on this earth. It is a love that is FAR ABOVE JEWELS.

The Bible says in Proverbs 31:10,

“An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels.”

She is to be valued and treated better than any expensive gem that you could possibly own. She is to be honored. Honor is inward esteem of her, outwardly expressed on ALL occasions. Honor shows worth.

Listen to these passages and let them convict your heart today:

  • 1 Peter 3:7 – “You husbands, in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.”

  • Proverbs 5:18 – “Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth.”

  • Proverbs 12:4 – “An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who shames him is like rottenness in his bones.”

  • Proverbs 18:22 – “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.”

  • Proverbs 19:14 – “House and wealth are an inheritance from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord.”

Allow me to shoot you straight. If you ever treat your sisters at church, your secretary, your mother, or female strangers with more honor, respect, and kindness than you do “the wife of your youth,” you need to get on your knees and confess your sins to God and then get on your feet and go plead for your wife’s forgiveness. It is unacceptable and egregious towards God to honor other women more than the woman God gave you to love, serve and help get to heaven. You might know God’s word, be a great elder, a dedicated deacon, a passionate preacher, or an engaging Bible class teacher…but if you are not treating your wife with honor and value, your church service and spiritual talk are pitifully cheap.

If you are struggling with obeying God in this critical area, please consider submitting to these three suggestions.

First, Keep her close

Proverbs 18:22 says…

“He who finds a wife finds a good thing.”

God gave her to you to protect her and enjoy her. It’s hard to protect a good thing at a distance because “error increases with distance.” Wherever you go, take her with you if possible. Relationships never thrive while apart.

Second, Esteem her daily

1 Peter 3:7 says…

“show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life.”

You honor things that you value. Choose to place her above you. Use purposeful words to show her honor. Hug and hold her a lot. Show her lots of affection even in front of others. Let the kids see that you are always on her side and that if they have a problem with her, they have a problem with you.

Third, Act better than you feel (as I heard BJ Clark once say).

Ephesians 5:25 says…

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her.”

Love is displayed through sacrifice. The test comes, not when you feel good about things, but when you don’t feel good about things (e.g., having a bad day, being treated like dirt, you’re exhausted, feeling devalued, etc.). Love does, even when our feelings disagree!

If your love has grown cold or stale in your marriage, choose to value her no matter what she does. Be genuine and humble and the value you show her will, over time, help your marriage to heal (thanks to the grace of God).

She has been given to you by God. She is far above jewels.

Steve Minor
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Steve was born in Hollis, OK.  Steve graduated from Oklahoma Christian with a degree in Youth Ministry in 1998.  OC is where Steve met the love of his life, Stephani Jimenez, and married in 1996.  The Lord gave them three amazing children: Micah (husband, Joel Turner), Mason, and Makenna.

Steve & Stephani have worked for congregations in Texas and Oklahoma.  Steve is the founder and director of Legacy Family Camp each October to equip and strengthen families and the MIGHTY Men’s Mentoring Conference each January to train and strengthen men to be leaders.

Steve is the preaching minister for the Wylie Church of Christ in Wylie, Texas.